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Adam Carolla Quotes 142

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

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6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

Chicks named Tammy have a greater chance of actually driving a Mercedes than a chick named Mercedes.

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6 years ago

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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.

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6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Pay Quotes

It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

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6 years ago

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What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.

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6 years ago

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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

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6 years ago

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It should be like a salmon taking to open water. I've done so much morning radio that I won't be overwhelmed by it, but it's still going to be a challenge.

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6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Morning Quotes , Water Quotes

I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.

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6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Laughing Quotes

I have no connection with Hollywood. I'm not interested. I don't care.

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6 years ago

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Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!

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6 years ago

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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

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6 years ago

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If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.

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6 years ago

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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

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6 years ago

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I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.

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6 years ago

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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

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6 years ago

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I know everything because I know nothing.

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6 years ago

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My first car was a motorcycle.

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6 years ago

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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.

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6 years ago

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There are certain things women are better at than men.

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6 years ago

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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.

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6 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Audience Quotes