Adam Carolla Quotes, Funny Quotes, Lonely Quotes

I'd be at someone's house or be up on the roof all day and I'd get lonely - stir crazy - and talk radio became this soothing voice in my life. But the idea that I was making $10 an hour and stacking drywall while these guys were making a few hundred thousand, and they were having a party, and there were Playmates and there were good times, I just couldn't imagine it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Lonely Quotes

All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I don’t have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.

5 years ago

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I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.

5 years ago

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The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.

5 years ago

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It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

5 years ago

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I don't like soccer. I think it makes you soft. And by the way, you telling me it's the biggest whatever in the World, look, they drink tea everywhere too; they're pussies, you understand? I want some coffee.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Soccer Quotes , Coffee Quotes

I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Art Quotes , Reality Quotes

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Average Quotes , Delusional Quotes

I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Want Quotes

The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Host Quotes , Compelling Quotes

The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Reason Why Quotes , Reason Quotes

I'm a comedian, not a politician.

5 years ago

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I don't know anything about computers.

5 years ago

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I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

You're 28, why are you going to goth clubs? Do what I do, sit at home & wait to die. You don't have to kill yourself, you're just waiting.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Passion Quotes , Office Quotes

People are stupid. There's a lot of dumb stuff that's successful.

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Stupid Quotes , Successful Quotes

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy!

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes