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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Years Quotes , Age Quotes
- I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Art Quotes , Reality Quotes
- I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Pie Quotes
- I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Want Quotes
- I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Fields Quotes
- You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Country Quotes , Feet Quotes
- If you spend your life walking through somebody else's museum, you never find out whether you're Rembrandt or not.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Museums Quotes , Walking Quotes
- Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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- The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Hate Quotes , Thinking Quotes
- I don't know anything about computers.
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- Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , School Quotes , College Quotes
- You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Cards Quotes , Use Quotes
- I spoke to my dad, and he said it took close to 90 dollars to raise me. But that was me and my sister, and my sister moved out when she was 16, so sometimes it can knock you up to triple digits to raise a kid.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Dad Quotes
- Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Basketball Quotes
- I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Nuts Quotes , Car Quotes
- When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mean Quotes , Should Have Quotes
- If you are tuning in just for the show, you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes