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Adam Carolla Quotes
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Adam Carolla Quotes 142
- I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Blue Quotes , Guy Quotes
- I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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- I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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- Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
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- Oprah tells women what to read, what to eat, what to think, what to do.
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- I get depressed at airports.
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- All TV is, is really: 'Don't you want to be this, aren't you glad you're not that.' There's nothing really in the middle.
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- To make something, you have to work within your abilities. Honestly assess what you can do and even more important, what can't you do.
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- When Asian people grow up fast they go to college at 13. White people grow up fast it's about fudge packing and triple D's at 13.
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- I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.
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Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes
- If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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- I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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- I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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- I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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- Screw guilt -- I could have sex with 10 men and it wouldn't bother me. I'm an atheist!
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- You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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- I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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- Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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- [Giving welfare to poor people] is the equivalent of the government sending [fat people] a jumbo bag of Bugles in the mail twice a month.
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- No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.
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