Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Might Quotes

No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Men Quotes

Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nature Quotes

The only certainties in life are death and taxes.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Certainty Of Death Quotes , Certainty In Life Quotes

Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Race Quotes

There is not an acre of ground on the globe that is in possession of its rightful owner, or that has not been taken away from owner after owner, cycle afer cycle, by force and bloodshed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Taken Quotes , Acres Quotes

It{California} is the land where the fabled Aladdin's Lamp lies buried-and she {San Francisco} is the new Aladdin who shall seize it from its obscurity and summon the genie and command him to crown her with power and greatness and bring to her feet the hoarded treasures of the earth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Greatness Quotes

Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Imagination Quotes , Earth Quotes

I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Giving Up Quotes

There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Civilization Quotes , Levels Quotes

Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doors Quotes , Weather Quotes

Custom is custom: it is built of brass, boiler-iron, granite; facts, reasonings, arguments have no more effect upon it than the idle winds have upon Gibraltar.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wind Quotes , Iron Quotes

It is sound statesmanship to add two battleships every time our neighbour adds one and two stories to our skyscrapers every time he piles a new one on top of his to threaten our light. There is no limit to this soundness but the sky.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Light Quotes , Sky Quotes

Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Laughter Quotes

I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Sleep Quotes

If Christians should vote their duty to God at the polls, they would carry every election, and do it with ease. They would elect every clean candidate in the United States, and defeat every soiled one. Their prodigious power would be quickly realized and recognized, and afterward there would be no unclean candidates upon any ticket, and graft would cease.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Voting Quotes

The devil's aversion to holy water is a light matter compared with a despots dread of a newspaper that laughs.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Light Quotes , Water Quotes

The old saw says, 'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Right. Still, when there is much at stake it is better to get a newspaper to do it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Lying Quotes

Nearly all black and brown skins are beautiful, but a beautiful white skin is rare.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Race Quotes