Mark Twain Quotes, Book Quotes, Cat Quotes

A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Cat Quotes

A marriage...makes of two fractional lives a whole; it gives to two purposeless lives a work, and doubles the strength of each to perform it; it gives to two questioning natures a reason for living, and something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wedding Quotes , Flower Quotes

We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every morning-knowing well that I shall find in it the usual depravities and basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not despair.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Morning Quotes , Prayer Quotes

One must travel, to learn.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

If your mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply that you won't. It is better and more becoming to intimate that you will do as she bids you, and then afterwards act quietly in the matter according to the dictates of your better judgment.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mother Quotes , Matter Quotes

Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit; well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hands Quotes , Comforting Quotes

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Death Quotes

Get a bicycle. You will not regret it, if you live.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Regret Quotes , Healing Quotes

But they (the infantry) had no use for boys of twelve and thirteen, and before I had a chance in another war, the desire to kill people to whom I had not been introduced had passed away.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Boys Quotes

Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

The Bible is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies. This Bible is built mainly out of fragments of older Bibles that had their day and crumbled to ruin. So it noticeably lacks in originality, necessarily. Its three or four most imposing and impressive events all happened in earlier Bibles; there are only two new things in it: hell, for one, and that singular heaven I have told you about.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clever Quotes , Lying Quotes

Can it be possible that the painters make John the Baptist a Spaniard in Madrid and an Irishman in Dublin?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Baptists Quotes

The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetics in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Biblical Quotes , Discovery Quotes

The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

But we love the Old Travelers. We love to hear them prate and drivel and lie.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Traveler Quotes

But the people cannot have wells, and so they take rain-water. Neither can they conveniently have cellars or graves, the town being built upon "made ground"; so they do without both, and few of the living complain, and none of the others.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rain Quotes , New Orleans Quotes

Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Religion Quotes

What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Atheist Quotes

A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually waste away, and eventually die.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , Men Quotes