Mark Twain Quotes, Police Quotes, Trade Quotes

A crowded police docket is the surest of all signs that trade is brisk and money plenty.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Police Quotes , Trade Quotes

Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience; multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Atheism Quotes

Books are for people who wish they were somewhere else.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Somewhere Else Quotes

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sleep Quotes , Army Quotes

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Intellectual food is like any other; it is pleasanter and more beneficial to take it with a spoon than a shovel.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Healing Quotes , Intellectual Quotes

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Food Quotes

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Risk Quotes

When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cat Quotes , Sunny Weather Quotes

I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Gone Quotes

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Father Quotes

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous. . . .

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Real Quotes

There is more real pleasure to be gotten out of a malicious act, where your heart is in it, than out of thirty acts of a nobler sort.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Heart Quotes

But we are all insane, anyway. Note the mountain-climbers.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Insanity Quotes , Insane Quotes

When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know have gone to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Numbers Quotes , People Quotes

If ignorance is bliss, why isn't the world happier?

6 years ago

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Vote: The only commodity that is peddleable without a license.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vote Quotes , Commodity Quotes

Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Loyalty Quotes