Mark Twain Quotes, Men Quotes, Light Quotes

Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Light Quotes

God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Coins Quotes

No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

One of the proofs of the immortality of the soul is that myriads have believed it. They also believed the world was flat.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Soul Quotes , Religion Quotes

A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Mad Quotes

If you don't know how to pronounce a word, say it loudly. Do not compound mispronunciation with inaudibility

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Compounds Quotes , Knows Quotes

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Kings Quotes

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Witness Quotes

The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Breathing Quotes , Luck Quotes

Very well, then, where do we arrive? Where do we arrive with our respect, our homage, our filial affection? At Adam! At Adam, every time. We can't build a monument to a germ, but we can build one to Adam, who is in the way to turn myth in in fifty years and be entirely forgotten in two hundred. We can build a monument and save his name to the world forever, and we'll do it!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Names Quotes

Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Pain Quotes

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Suicide Quotes , Balloons Quotes

Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it; it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Names Quotes , Giving Quotes

There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Two Quotes

More than one cigar at a time is excessive smoking.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Smoking Quotes

We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries; it is only when we set out to discover "the secret of God" that our difficulties disappear.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Secret Quotes

Consider the average intelligence of the common man, then realize 50% are even stupider.

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The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

there was no crime in unconscious plagiarism; that I committed it everyday, that he committed it everyday, that every man alive on earth who writes or speaks commits it every day and not merely once or twice but every time he open his mouth… there is nothing of our own in it except some slight change born of our temperament, character, environment, teachings and associations

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Teaching Quotes , Writing Quotes