Mark Twain Quotes, Death Quotes, Religious Quotes

It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Religious Quotes

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

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I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.

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But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Sympathy Quotes

The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Humans Quotes

Quitting smoking is easy, I've done it hundreds of times.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Addiction Quotes , Smoking Quotes

The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Rich Quotes

I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses; never, I believe, by people.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Horse Quotes , Believe Quotes

My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart-a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Family Quotes , Mothers Day Quotes

My heart goes out to anyone who is making his first appearance before an audience of human beings.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Firsts Quotes

My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess; second, don't drink - to excess; third, don't marry - to excess.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Girl Quotes

Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in its use.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions....there was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Heart Quotes

Man is the only slave. And he is the only animal who enslaves. He has always been a slave in one form or another, and has always held other slaves in bondage under him in one way or another. In our day, he is always some man's slave for wages, and does that man's work; and this slave has other slaves under him for minor wages, and they do his work. The higher animals are the only ones who exclusively do their own work and provide their own living.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

When some men discharge an obligation, you can hear the report for miles around.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Miles Quotes

There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing and predatory as it is - in our country particularly, and in all other Christian countries in a somewhat modified degree - it is still a hundred times better than the Christianity of the Bible, with its prodigious crime- the invention of Hell.

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A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.

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Now, isn't imagination a precious thing? It peoples the earth with all manner of wonders.

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A sin takes on a new and real terror when there seems a chance that it is going to be found out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Chance Quotes

I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , House Quotes , Taxes Quotes