Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Bible Quotes

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

6 years ago

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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.

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There will never be a "perfect" time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Encouragement Quotes , Stress Quotes

And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Cute Quotes , Rags Quotes

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.

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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Way Quotes , Taught Quotes

If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of star dust lost in the blaze of the Milky Way. Properly the Jew ought hardly to be heard of, but he is heard of, has always been heard of. He is as prominent on the planet as any other people, and his commercial importance is extravagantly out of proportion to the smallness of his bulk. His contributions to the world's list of great names in literature, science, art, music, finance, medicine, and abstruse learning are also away out of proportion to the weakness of his numbers.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Stars Quotes

Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Important Quotes

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

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A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.

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Never waste a lie; you never know when you may need it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Needs Quotes

How slow and still the time did drag along.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Drag Quotes

How superbly brave is the Englishman in the presence of the awfulest forms of danger and death; and how abject in the presence of any and all forms of hereditary rank.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Brave Quotes , Danger Quotes

No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.

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The heart is the real fountain of youth.

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Architects cannot teach nature anything.

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The proverb says that Providence protects children and idiots. This is really true. I know because I have tested it.

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Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Wise Quotes

Unexpected money is a delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Bitterness Quotes