Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Novelists Quotes

I have been born more times than anybody except Krishna.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Novelists Quotes

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Witness Quotes

I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly; but their wives had grown old. These were good women; it is very wearing to be good.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Years Quotes

Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is; it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Talking Quotes , Patriotism Quotes

If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Inspiring Quotes

When even the brightest mind in our world has been trained up from childhood in a superstition of any kind, it will never be possible for that mind, in its maturity, to examine sincerely, dispassionately, and conscientiously any evidence or any circumstance which shall seem to cast a doubt upon the validity of that superstition. I doubt if I could do it myself.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Maturity Quotes

Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pain Quotes , Relief Quotes

I am not an economist. I am an honest man!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When we do not know a person - and also when we do - we have to judge his size by the size and nature of his achievements, as compared with the achievements of others in his special line of business - there is no other way.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Business Quotes , Judging Quotes

College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , College Quotes , Brain Quotes

I was exceedingly delighted with the waltz, and also with the polka. These differ in name, but there the difference ceases

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Names Quotes , Differences Quotes

[N]o country can be well governed unless its citizens as a body keep religiously before their minds that they are the guardians of the law and that the law officers are only the machinery for its execution, nothing more.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Government Quotes

The solution to our water problems is more rain.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rain Quotes , Water Quotes

If you have nothing to say, say nothing.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Communication Quotes , Resolution Quotes

He liked to like people, therefore people liked him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Positive Quotes

There is no use in your walking five miles to fish when you can depend on being just as unsuccessful near home.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , Lakes Quotes

In Boston they ask, how much does he know? In New York, how much is he worth? In Philadelphia, who were his parents?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , New York Quotes , Boston Quotes

The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Thinking Quotes

The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Differences Quotes , Fiction Quotes

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes