Mark Twain Quotes, Kindness Quotes, Humorous Quotes

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Humorous Quotes

You can't keep a juvenile moral institution alive on two displays of its sash per year.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Two Quotes

The unspoken word is capital. We can invest it or we can squander it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Unspoken Words Quotes , Spoken Word Quotes

Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Laughter Quotes

There is a great difference between feeding parties to wild beasts and stirring up their finer feelings in an inquisition. One is the system of degraded barbarians, the other of enlightened civilized people.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Party Quotes , Civilization Quotes

Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Shame Quotes , Grammar Quotes

The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Needs Quotes

Perfect grammar - persistent, continuous, sustained - is the fourth dimension, so to speak; many have sought it, but none has found it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Perfect Quotes , Dimensions Quotes

There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were willing to reveal it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Mind Quotes

Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that; it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Political Quotes

Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber; & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Style Quotes

Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Doe Quotes

The observance of Thanksgiving Day-as a function-has become general of late years. The Thankfulness is not so general. This is natural. Two-thirds of the nation have always had hard luck and a hard time during the year, and this has a calming effect upon their enthusiasm.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hard Times Quotes , Years Quotes

Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Work Quotes , Grateful Quotes

If we read the words and attitudes of the past through the pompous "wisdom" of the considered moral judgments of the present, we will find nothing but error.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Attitude Quotes , Past Quotes

Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Failure Quotes

Distance lends enchantment to the view.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Wisdom Quotes

If the Christians of America could be persuaded to vote God and a clean ticket, it would bring about a moral revolution that would be incalculably beneficent. It would save the country.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Country Quotes

Wilson stopped and stood silent. Inattention dies a quick and sure death when a speaker does that.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doe Quotes , Inattention Quotes

Schoolboy days are no happier than the days of afterlife, but we look back upon them regretfully because we have forgotten our punishments at school and how we grieved when our marbles were lost and our kites destroyed – because we have forgotten all the sorrows and privations of the canonized ethic and remember only its orchard robberies, its wooden-sword pageants, and its fishing holidays.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , School Quotes , Holiday Quotes