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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime.
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- It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.
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- A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
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- There are too many stars in some places and not enough in others.
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- Tight pants are just uncomfortable.
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- Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane.
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- Always obey your parents. When they are present. This is the best policy in the long run. Because if you don't, they will make you. Most parents think they know better than you do, and you can generally make more by humoring that superstition than you can by acting on your own better judgment.
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- What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
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- If you've got a nice fresh corpse, fetch him out!
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- If you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward. You will never get her full confidence again.
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- God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country.
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- We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
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- The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people.
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- The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.
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- I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.
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- The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of ungraceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying.
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- Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.
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- When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends.
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- Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition.
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- Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
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