Mark Twain Quotes, Mirrors Quotes, People Quotes

This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mirrors Quotes , People Quotes

Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money off them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Science Quotes

It is not worth while to strain one's self to tell the truth to people who habitually discount everything you tell them, whether it is true or isn't.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Self Quotes

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Men Quotes

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention"; but the wise man saith, "Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET." - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Wise Quotes

How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Atheist Quotes

Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Work Quotes

Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Blood Quotes , Stranger Quotes

The idea that no gentleman ever swears is all wrong. He can swear and still be a gentleman if he does it in a nice and benevolent and affectionate way.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Nice Quotes

Never waste a lie; you never know when you may need it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Needs Quotes

Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mother Quotes , Men Quotes

I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

In our day we don't allow a hundred and thirty years to elapse between glimpses of a marvel. If somebody should discover a creek in the county next to the one that the North Pole is in, Europe and America would start fifteen costly expeditions thither; one to explore the creek, and the other fourteen to hunt for each other.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Europe And America Quotes , Discovery Quotes

I would much prefer to suffer from the clean incision of an honest lancet than from a sweetened poison.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Suffering Quotes

It is not worth while to try to keep history from repeating itself, for man's character will always make the preventing of the repetitions impossible.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Character Quotes , Men Quotes

An injurious lie is an uncommendable thing; and so, also, and in the same degree, is an injurious truth a fact that is recognized by the law of libel .

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Law Quotes

Love your enemy, it will scare the hell out of them.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love You Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out... and help to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel.... And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for the universal brotherhood of man with his mouth.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Peace Quotes , War Quotes

We like to read about rich people in the newspapers; the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Paper Quotes

I can teach anybody how to get, what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want. Once you are crystal clear about the intended end result that you seek to produce, all the ways that it can become a done deal start to reveal themselves to you. There are many who have accomplished exactly what you want to achieve and could show you the way. You are not ready to ask them because you are not clear and you have not determined which questions need answers.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes , Answers Quotes