Mark Twain Quotes, Two Quotes, Bird Quotes

If there was two birds sitting on a fence, he would bet you which one would fly first.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Two Quotes , Bird Quotes

I am persuaded that the world has been tricked into adopting some false and most pernicious notions about consistency - and to such a degree that the average man has turned the rights and wrongs of things entirely around and is proud to be "consistent," unchanging, immovable, fossilized, where it should be his humiliation.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Rights Quotes

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Military Quotes

When one has tasted watermelons, one knows what angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took; we know it because she repented.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Angel Quotes , Southern Quotes

Patriotism is merely a religion-love of country, worship of country, devotion to the country's flag and honor and welfare.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Patriotism Quotes

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Witty Quotes

More than one cigar at a time is excessive smoking.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Smoking Quotes

I think a compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Complaining Quotes

A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Giving Quotes

The man who isn't a pessimist is a damned fool.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Fool Quotes

I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Thinking Quotes

Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Integrity Quotes , Animal Quotes

Whatever you have lived, you can write & by hard work & a genuine apprenticeship, you can learn to write well; but what you have not lived you cannot write, you can only pretend to write it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hard Work Quotes , Writing Quotes

There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Interesting Quotes

What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Way Quotes

In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Ideas Quotes

Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Bird Quotes , Should Quotes

The New York papers have long known that no large question is ever really settled until I have been consulted.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , New York Quotes , Long Quotes

Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Political Quotes

Compliments make me vain: & when I am vain, I am insolent & overbearing. It is a pity, too, because I love compliments. I love them even when they are not so. My child, I can live on a good compliment two weeks with nothing else to eat.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Two Quotes