Mark Twain Quotes, Children Quotes, Men Quotes

If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Children Quotes , Men Quotes

War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has not been in the moon is likely to be dull.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Moon Quotes

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I will now claim - until dispossesed - that I was the first person in the world to apply the typewriter to literature. ... The early machine was full of caprices, full of defects- devilish ones. It had as many immoralities as the machine of today has virtues. After a year or two I found that it was degrading my character, so I thought I would give it to Howells. ... He took it home to Boston, and my morals began to improve, but his have never recovered.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Character Quotes , Home Quotes

Those that respect the law and love sausage should watch neither being made.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Law Quotes

It is easy to make plans in this world; even a cat can do it; and when one is out in those remote oceans it is noticeable that a cat's plans and a man's are worth about the same. There is much the same shrinkage in both, in the matter of values.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ocean Quotes , Cat Quotes

Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Pirate Quotes , Sailing Quotes

When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religion Quotes , Atheism Quotes

I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Country Quotes , Prayer Quotes

Against a diseased imagination demonstration goes for nothing.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Imagination Quotes , Atheism Quotes

There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Calling Quotes

In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Believe Quotes

Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Freedom Quotes , Champion Quotes

Music is a good thing; and after all that soul-butter and hogwash, I never see it freshen up things so, and sound so honest and bully.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Music Quotes , Hypocrisy Quotes

Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Somewhere Else Quotes

Dance like nobody's looking.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

You can't keep a juvenile moral institution alive on two displays of its sash per year.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Years Quotes , Two Quotes

Tis Better to Sit there and LOOK the fool, than to open your mouth and prove it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Looks Quotes , Mouths Quotes

No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Men Quotes

All generalizations are false, including this one.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Truth Quotes