Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Life Quotes

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fake People Quotes , Truth Quotes

isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Numbers Quotes , Remember Quotes

A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Home Quotes

Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.

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When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals, though there warn't really anything the matter with them. That is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of odds and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind of swaps around, and the things go better.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Prayer Quotes , Odds Quotes

Cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild

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America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , America Quotes

The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Age Quotes , Aging Quotes

In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Change Quotes , Thank You Quotes

Every man is wholly honest to himself and to God, but not to any one else.

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All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.

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Seventy is old enough. After that there is too much risk.

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More than one cigar at a time is excessive smoking.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Time Quotes , Smoking Quotes

Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity; but bet on the other one -- this is business.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , Business Quotes

Perhaps no poet is a conscious plagiarist, but there seems to be warrant for suspecting that there is no poet who is not at one time or another an unconscious one.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Poet Quotes

I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

6 years ago

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They did not know it was impossible so they did it

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My own luck has been curious all my literary life; I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Lying Quotes

whenever the literary german dives into a sentence, this is the last you are going to see of him till he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes