Mark Twain Quotes, Men Quotes, Long Quotes

To be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth. As long as one sorely needs a certain additional amount, that man isn't rich.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Long Quotes

The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Church Quotes , Tails Quotes

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Witness Quotes

It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , New Orleans Quotes

There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular one is Providence.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Religious Quotes

Man never creates, he only recombines the lines and colors of his own existance.

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Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Civilization Quotes , Giving Quotes

A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Numbers Quotes

When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Stupid Quotes

I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Military Quotes

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Women Quotes , People Quotes

One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Exclamation Points Quotes

If I had been helping the Almighty when he created man, I would have had him begin at the other end, and start human beings with old age. How much better to start old and have all the bitterness and blindness of age in the beginning!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Age Quotes

Nothing seems to please a fly so much as to be taken for a currant; and if it can be baked in a cake and palmed off on the unwary, it dies happy.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Taken Quotes , Cake Quotes

In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, one when he was a boy and one when he was a man

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Boys Quotes , Men Quotes

Man is the only religious animal. In the Holy task of smoothing his brother's path to the happiness of heaven, he has turned the globe into a graveyard.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Brother Quotes

from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vacancy Quotes , World Quotes

The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Honesty Quotes , Ignorance Quotes

When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Jobs Quotes , Indulge In Quotes

No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Judging Quotes , People Quotes