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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Men Quotes
- The ordinary chestnut can beget a sickly and reluctant laugh, but it takes a horse chestnut to fetch the gorgeous big horse-laugh.
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- 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read.
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- Everything human is pathetic
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- If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
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- Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.
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- There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
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- Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
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- Literature is well enough, as a time-passer, and for the improvement and general elevation and purification of mankind, but it has no practical value.
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- I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.
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- Custom is custom: it is built of brass, boiler-iron, granite; facts, reasonings, arguments have no more effect upon it than the idle winds have upon Gibraltar.
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- When a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas about cold weather are not valuable.
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- Good judgement is the result of experience and experience the result of bad judgement.
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- Nothing agrees with me. If I drink coffee, it gives me dyspepsia; if I drink wine, it gives me the gout; if I go to church, it gives me dysentery.
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- There will never be a "perfect" time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!
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- Don't wait the time is never just right.
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- Geological time is not money.
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- Intellectual food is like any other; it is pleasanter and more beneficial to take it with a spoon than a shovel.
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- You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
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- It is poison - rank poison - to knuckle down to care and hardships. They must come to us all, albeit in different shapes, and we may not escape them. It is not possible. But we may swindle them out of half of their puissance with a stiff upper lip.
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