Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Persons who think there is no such thing as luck good or bad are entitled to their opinion, although I think they ought to be shot for it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Luck Quotes

There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Queens Quotes , Hands Quotes

I believe I have had the most trouble with a portrait which I painted in installments - the head on one canvas and the bust on another.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Portraits Quotes

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Confidence Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes

Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes

Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Blood Quotes , Swim Quotes

The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Xmas Quotes , Holiday Quotes

I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hatred Quotes , House Quotes

A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , New Year Quotes , Holiday Quotes

There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Climbing Quotes , People Quotes

And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Knights Quotes

My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vanity Quotes , Civilization Quotes

Be respectful to your superiors, if you have any.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Respectful Quotes , Be Respectful Quotes

I've never let my school interfere with my education.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Graduation Quotes

There are three kinds of liars: liars, damned liars, and statisticians

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liars Quotes , Three Quotes

For instance, take this sample: he has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights, the one ecstasy that stands first and foremost in the heart of every individual of his race - and of ours - sexual intercourse!It is as if a lost and perishing person in a roasting desert should be told by a rescuer he might choose and have all longed-for things but one, and he should elect to leave out water!

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes , Race Quotes

The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters; the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes , Character Quotes

I should have been glad to acquire some sort of idea of Hindu theology, ... but the difficulties were too great.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Should Have Quotes , Ideas Quotes