Mark Twain Quotes, Truth Quotes, Honesty Quotes

Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Honesty Quotes

Nothing seems to please a fly so much as to be taken for a currant; and if it can be baked in a cake and palmed off on the unwary, it dies happy.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Taken Quotes , Cake Quotes

I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Book Quotes

It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Men Quotes

Cold! If the thermometer had been an inch longer we'd all have frozen to death!

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Frozen Quotes , Cold Quotes

Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom; it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Use Quotes , Periods Quotes

The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man; and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kings Quotes , Men Quotes

To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Writing Quotes

This editor is a critic. He has pulled out his carving-knife and his tomahawk and is starting after a book which he is going to have for breakfast.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Knives Quotes

I have carried a revolver; lots of us do, but they are the most innocent things in the world.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Gun Quotes , World Quotes

There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Speaks Out Quotes

The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , People Quotes

Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Favors Quotes , Flattery Quotes

To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Garden Quotes

I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Money Quotes , Gold Quotes

...many foolish persons, wanderers from other parts, have the vain fashion of graving their names and the obscure places whence they come, upon its stones, which is silly and marketh the doer for a fool.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fashion Quotes , Silly Quotes

My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Memories Quotes , Blank Quotes

Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Answers Quotes

The waves most washed me off the raft sometimes, but I hadn't any clothes on, and didn't mind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clothes Quotes , Mind Quotes