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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Rum, n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
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- GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.
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- Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.
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- Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.
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- Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.
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- Honorable, adj.: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.".
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- EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"
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- ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution.
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- HYENA, n. A beast held in reverence by some oriental nations from its habit of frequenting at night the burial-places of the dead. But the medical student does that
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- EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.
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- An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.
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- Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
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- CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
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- A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.
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- Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense.
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- Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
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- Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
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- I think love is the most unbelievable, and critical, thing in civilization. Everything else is very mechanical and predictable, but love, you can't catch it.
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- Noise: a stench in the ear.
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- YESTERDAY, n. The infancy of youth, the youth of manhood, the entire past of age.
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