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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.
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- GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.
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- Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich.
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- Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.
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- Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
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- Behavior, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding.
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- Age, with his eyes in the back of his head, thinks it wisdom to see the bogs through which he has floundered.
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- REASON, v.i. To weight probabilities in the scales of desire.
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- SEINE, n. A kind of net for effecting an involuntary change of environment. For fish it is made strong and coarse, but women are more easily taken with a singularly delicate fabric weighted with small, cut stones.
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- No country is so wild and difficult but men will make it a theater of war.
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- Cribbage, n. A substitute for conversation among those to whom nature has denied ideas.
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- To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.
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- MARTYR, One who moves along the line of least reluctance to a desired death.
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- An aged Burgundy runs with a beardless Port. I cherish the fancy that Port speaks sentences of wisdom, Burgundy sings the inspired Ode.
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- EFFECT, n. The second of two phenomena which always occur together in the same order. The first, called a Cause, is said to generate the other-which is no more sensible than it would be for one who has never seen a dog except in pursuit of a rabbit to declare the rabbit the cause of the dog.
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- EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"
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- PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.
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- MONARCHICAL GOVERNMENT, n. Government.
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- Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
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- DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
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