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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Atheism Quotes , Invisible Quotes
- YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.
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- CANNON, n. An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Peace Quotes , War Quotes
- MAGNITUDE, n. Size [that is] purely relative. If everything in the universe were increased 1,000 diameters nothing would be any larger than it was before, but if one thing remain unchanged all the others would be larger than they had been.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Would Be Quotes , Size Quotes
- ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Long Quotes
- MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Needs Quotes , Structure Quotes
- MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Animal Quotes
- WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , Food Quotes
- Economy, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Needs Quotes , Cows Quotes
- REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Reflection Quotes , Views Quotes
- Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Running Quotes , Party Quotes
- PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Mind Quotes
- FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.
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- EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wisdom Quotes , Sometimes Quotes
- Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Courage Quotes
- A pessimist asked God for relief. Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness, said God. No, replied the petitioner, I wish you to create something that would justify them. The world is all created,said God, but you have overlooked something
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wish Quotes , Relief Quotes
- Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Morning Quotes , Sleep Quotes
- Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Giving Quotes , Advice Quotes
- LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem - a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , War Quotes , Self Esteem Quotes
- SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes