Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Expectations Quotes, Outlook Quotes

prospect, n. An outlook, usually forbidding. An expectation, usually forbidden.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.

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A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of his enemies and bear arms agains himself. He makes his failure certain by himself being the first person to be convinced of it.

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Respectability, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.

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MINISTER, n. An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy, an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility.

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Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. "What!" said one of his disciples, "you weep at the death of an enemy?" "Ah, 'tis true," replied the great Stoic; "but you should see me smile at the death of a friend.".

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Achievement; the death of endeavor and the birth of disgust.

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April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

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SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.

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PRIVATE, n. A military gentleman with a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack and an impediment in his hope.

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GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

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Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

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Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.

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Habit: A shackle for the free.

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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

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PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.

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BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker.

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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

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