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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mother Quotes , Kings Quotes
- UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Time Quotes , Power Quotes
- Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fear Quotes , Worship Quotes
- Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners. In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the original earth clinging to the roots.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Women Quotes , Roots Quotes
- Truth is more deceptive than falsehood, for it is more frequently presented by those from whom we do not expect it, and so has against it a numerical presumption.
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- actually, adv. Perhaps; possibly.
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- An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes
- DEPENDENT, adj. Reliant upon another's generosity for the support which you are not in a position to exact from his fears.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fear Quotes , Generosity Quotes
- An auctioneer is a man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Business Quotes , Men Quotes
- SYLLOGISM, n. A logical formula consisting of a major and a minor assumption and an inconsequent.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Science Quotes , Logic Quotes
- A system of pitfalls thoughtfully prepared for the feet for the self-made man, along the path by which he advances to distinction.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Self Quotes
- RIGHTEOUSNESS, n. A sturdy virtue that was once found among the Pantidoodles inhabiting the lower part of the peninsula of Oque. Some feeble attempts were made by returned missionaries to introduce it into several European countries . .
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Virtue Quotes
- Along the road of life are many pleasure resorts, but think not that by tarrying in them you will take more days to the journey. The day of your arrival is already recorded.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Journey Quotes
- REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
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- Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
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- BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.
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- A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Soul Quotes , Atheism Quotes
- CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Men Quotes , Law Quotes
- An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Judgment Quotes , Popularity Quotes
- RITUALISM, n. A Dutch Garden of God where He may walk in rectilinear freedom, keeping off the grass.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Freedom Quotes , Garden Quotes