Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Disappointment Quotes, Opportunity Quotes

Opportunity: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

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SAUCE, n. The one infallible sign of civilization and enlightenment. A people with no sauces has one thousand vices; a people with one sauce has only nine hundred and ninety-nine. For every sauce invented and accepted a vice is renounced and forgiven.

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PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.

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REVOLUTION, n. A bursting of the boilers which usually takes place when the safety valve of public discussion is closed.

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Molecule, n.: The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter ... The ion differs from the molecule, the corpuscle and the atom in that it is an ion.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ions Quotes , Molecules Quotes

SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect.

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Habit: A shackle for the free.

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MERCY, n. An attribute beloved of detected offenders.

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EXTINCTION, n. The raw material out of which theology created the future state.

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INDISCRETION, n. The guilt of woman.

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adherent, n. A follower who has not yet obtained all that he expects to get.

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An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.

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MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.

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Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

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Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

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One who, professing virtues that he does not respect, secures the advantage of seeming to be what he despises.

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The most intolerant advocate is he who is trying to convince himself.

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PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.

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SPOOKER, n. A writer whose imagination concerns itself with supernatural phenomena, especially in the doings of spooks.

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NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Nature Quotes