Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Hope Quotes, Country Quotes

Hope is an explorer who surveys the country ahead. That is why we know so much about the Hereafter and so little about the Heretofore.

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OBSERVATORY, n. A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

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General," said the commander of the delinquent brigade, "I am persuaded that any further display of valor by my troops will bring them into collision with the enemy.

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BEGGAR, n. One who has relied on the assistance of his friends.

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Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

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New York is too strenuous for me; it gets on my nerves.

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PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who [was] not permitted to sing psalms through his nose [in Europe], followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience.

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To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

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Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization.

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LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia.

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EJECTION, n. An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

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A trite popular saying, or proverb. (Figurative and colloquial.) So called because it makes its way into a wooden head. Following are examples of old saws fitted with new teeth.

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A nation that will not enforce its laws has no claim to the respect and allegiance of its people.

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Learning -the kind of ignorance affected by (and affecting) civilized races, as distinguished from ignorance, the sort of learning incurred by savages. See nonsense.

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A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.

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MONUMENT, n. A structure intended to commemorate something which either needs no commemoration or cannot be commemorated.

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Gout, a physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient

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PESSIMISM- philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile.

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NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient.

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Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

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