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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- HURRICANE, n. An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old- fashioned sea-captains.
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- Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.
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- INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
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- MONKEY, n. An arboreal animal which makes itself at home in genealogical trees.
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- Pun: A form of wit, to which wise men stoop and fools aspire
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- Bigamy, n. A mistake in taste for which the wisdom of the future will adjudge a punishment called trigamy.
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- GNU, n. An animal of South Africa, which in its domesticated state resembles a horse, a buffalo and a stag. In its wild condition it is something like a thunderbolt, an earthquake and a cyclone.
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- In this world one must have a name; it prevents confusion, even when it does not establish identity. Some, though, are known by numbers, which also seem inadequate distinctions.
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- REVOLUTION, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. . . . the substitution of the rule of an Administration for that of a Ministry, whereby the welfare and happiness of the people were advanced a full half-inch.
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- Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
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- The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
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- MUMMY, n. - an ancient Egyptian handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals.
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- Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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- PRESIDE, v. To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."
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- CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain.
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- CARNIVOROUS, adj. Addicted to the cruelty of devouring the timorous vegetarian, his heirs and assigns.
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- CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?
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- Backbite: To ''speak of a man as you find him'' when he can't find you.
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- ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
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- LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nature Quotes , Support Quotes