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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Peace Quotes , Powerful Quotes
- WEAKNESSES, n.pl. Certain primal powers of Tyrant Woman wherewith she holds dominion over the male of her species, binding him to the service of her will and paralyzing his rebellious energies.
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- me, pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Ego Quotes , Three Quotes
- PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied him. For purposes of humor it is popularly called a trunk.
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- CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.
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- INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.
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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Mind Quotes , Causes Quotes
- As a means of dispensing formulated ignorance our boasted public school system is not without merit; it spreads out education sufficiently thin to give everyone enough to make him a more competent fool than he would have been without it.
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- self-esteem, n. An erroneous appraisal.
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- Heathen, n. A benighted creature who has the folly to worship something that he can see and feel.
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- Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
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- HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.
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- Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain.
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- Funeral: a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
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- REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.
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- HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.
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- NECTAR, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.
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- MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.
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- EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.
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- PANDEMONIUM, n. Literally, the Place of All the Demons. Most of them have escaped into politics and finance, and the place is now used as a lecture hall by the Audible Reformer.
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- Patriotism: The first resort of a scoundrel.
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