Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Water Quotes, Imagination Quotes

RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Water Quotes , Imagination Quotes

DEINOTHERIUM, n. An extinct pachyderm that flourished when the Pterodactyl was in fashion. The latter was a native of Ireland, its name being pronounced Terry Dactyl or Peter O'Dactyl, as the man pronouncing it may chance to have heard it spoken or seen it printed.

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MEDICINE, n. A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.

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Habit: A shackle for the free.

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OVATION, n. n ancient Rome, a definite, formal pageant in honor of one who had been disserviceable to the enemies of the nation. A lesser "triumph."

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Rome Quotes , Honor Quotes

TEDIUM, n. Ennui, the state or condition of one that is bored. Many fanciful derivations of the word have been affirmed, but so high an authority as Father Jape says that it comes from a very obvious source --the first words of the ancient Latin hymn _Te Deum Laudamus_. In this apparently natural derivation there is something that saddens.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Father Quotes , Latin Quotes

Religions are conclusions for which the facts of nature supply no major premises.

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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Spiritual Quotes

I was born to poor because of honest parents.

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DUEL, n. A formal ceremony preliminary to reconciliation of two enemies. Great skill is necessary to its satisfactory observance; if awkwardly performed . . . deplorable consequences sometimes ensue. A long time ago a man lost his life.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Life Quotes , Time Quotes

HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.

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NIRVANA- In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it.

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Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

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What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.

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CLERGYMAN, n. A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of better his temporal ones.

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Boundary, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of another.

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ACCUSE, v.t. To affirm another's guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged him.

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STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue.

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APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. The flabby wine-skin of his brain Yields to some pathologic strain, And voids from its unstored abysm The driblet of an aphorism. "The Mad Philosopher," 1697

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Wine Quotes , Yield Quotes