Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Teacher Quotes, Boys Quotes

FORCE, n. "Force is but might," the teacher said p/ "That definition's just."/ The boy said naught but throught instead,/ Remembering his pounded head:/ "Force is not might but must!"

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Teacher Quotes , Boys Quotes

He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. A fool is a natural proselyte, but he must be caught young, for his convictions, unlike those of the wise, harden with age.

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REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

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VITUPERATION, n. Saite, as understood by dunces and all such as suffer from an impediment in their wit.

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What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.

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PERFECTION, n. An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic. The editor of an English magazine having received a letter pointing out the erroneous nature of his views and style, and signed "Perfection," promptly wrote at the foot of the letter: "I don't agree with you," and mailed it to Matthew Arnold.

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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

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A malefactor who atones for making your writing nonsense by permitting the compositor to make it unintelligible.

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CARTESIAN, adj. Relating to Descartes, author of 'Cogito ergo sum' to demonstrate the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved 'Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum' 'I think that I think, therefore I think that I am' as close an approach.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Reality Quotes , Thinking Quotes

MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Law Quotes , Criminals Quotes

Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Religious Quotes , Food Quotes

The ghost is the outward and visible signs of an inward fear.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Fear Quotes , Inward Quotes

KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for "bliss." It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.

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TRICHINOSIS, n. The pig's reply to proponents of porcophagy.

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Responsibility, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star.

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Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.

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Rome has seven sacraments, but the Protestant churches, being less prosperous, feel that they can afford only two, and these of inferior sanctity.

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BRANDY, n. A cordial composed on one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.

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Self-evident, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.

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RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Language Quotes