Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Fool Quotes, Intimacy Quotes

INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.

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PICKANINNY, n. The young of the "Procyanthropos", or "Americanus dominans". It is small, black and charged with political fatalities.

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Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. The pig is taught by sermons and epistles / To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.

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CONSOLATION, n. The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

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predilection, n. The preparatory stage of disillusion.

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Advice, the smallest current coin.

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PALACE, n. A fine and costly residence, particularly that of a great official. The residence of a high dignitary of the Christian Church is called a palace; that of the Founder of his religion was known as a field, or wayside. There is progress.

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GRAVE, n. A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.

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Quill: An instrument of torture yielded by a goose and commonly weilded by as ass.

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Fashion, n. A despot whom the wise ridicule and obey.

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NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization.

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OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.

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TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility.

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Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

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LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.

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NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.

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EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc.

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SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity. Its habit of incubating its eggs in a ball of ordure may also have commended it to the favor of the priesthood, and may some day assure it an equal reverence among ourselves. True, the American beetle is an inferior beetle, but the American priest is an inferior priest.

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When you have made a catalogue of your friend's faults it is only fair to supply him with a duplicate, so that he may know yours.

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Example is better than following it.

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