Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Christian Quotes, Food Quotes

WINE, n.Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum." Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man.

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FICKLENESS, n. The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.

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ACKNOWLEDGE, v.t. To confess. Acknowledgment of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth.

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HUSBAND, n. One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.

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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

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Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one.

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Truth is so good a thing that falsehood can not afford to be without it.

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MUGWUMP, n. In politics one afflicted with self-respect and addicted to the vice of independence. A term of contempt.

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PASTIME, n. A device for promoting dejection. Gentle exercise for intellectual debility.

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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

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PYRRHONISM- An ancient philosophy, named for its inventor. It consisted of an absolute disbelief in everything but Pyrrhonism. Its modern professors have added that.

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Occident: The part of the world lying west (or east) of the Orient. It is largely inhabited by Christians, a powerful subtribe of the Hypocrites, whose principal industries are murder and cheating, which they are pleased to call war and commerce. These, also, are the principal industries of the Orient.

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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else

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Revelation: a famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing.

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LIFE, n. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed.

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PLENIPOTENTIARY, adj. Having full power. A Minister Plenipotentiary is a diplomatist possessing absolute authority on condition that he never exert it.

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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

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PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast.

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MONSIGNOR- A high ecclesiastical title, of which the Founder of our religion overlooked the advantages.

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INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.

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