Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Virtue Quotes, Certain Quotes

VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Virtue Quotes , Certain Quotes

IMPOSTOR n. A rival aspirant to public honors.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Honor Quotes

Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Country Quotes , Men Quotes

At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , War Quotes , Savages Quotes

CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Lying Quotes , Writing Quotes

Aristocrats: n. fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts - guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Guilt Quotes , Hats Quotes

PROJECTILE, n. The final arbiter in international disputes. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Courage Quotes , Military Quotes

You can effect a change of robbers every four years. Inestimable privilege - to pull off the glutted leech and attach the lean one! And you can not even choose among the lean leeches, but must accept those designated by the programmers and showmen who have the reptiles on tap!

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Years Quotes , Leeches Quotes

PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Adults Quotes , Males Quotes

When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Forgiving Quotes , Enemy Quotes

Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Lying Quotes , Sadness Quotes

The most offensive egotist is he that fears to say "I" and "me." "It will probably rain" - that is dogmatic. "I think it will rain" - that is natural and modest. Montaigne is the most delightful of essayists because so great is his humility that he does not think it important that we see not Montaigne. He so forgets himself that he employs no artifice to make us forget him.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Rain Quotes , Humility Quotes

REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a "copy," which is made by another artist. When the two are mae with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it is suppose

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Art Quotes , Work Quotes

RABBLE, n. In a republic, those who exercise a supreme authority tempered by fraudulent elections. The rabble is like the sacred Simurgh, of Arabian fable - omnipotent on condition that it do nothing.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Exercise Quotes , Republic Quotes

Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Doubt Quotes , Shadow Quotes

The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forebearance among men.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Christian Quotes , Children Quotes

Inhumanity, n. One of the signal and characteristic qualities of humanity.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humanity Quotes , Quality Quotes

A large stone presented by the archangel Gabriel to the patriarch Abraham, and preserved at Mecca. The patriarch had perhaps asked the archangel for bread.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Atheism Quotes , Gabriel Quotes

SCARABAEUS, n. The sacred beetle of the ancient Egyptians, allied to our familiar "tumble-bug." It was supposed to symbolize immortality, the fact that God knew why giving it its peculiar sanctity.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Giving Quotes , Peculiar Quotes

Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.

5 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Food Quotes , Cooking Quotes