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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes 976
- alone, adj. In bad company.
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- God alone knows the future, but only an historian can alter the past.
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- LIVER, n. A large red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The liver is heaven's best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be unable to supply us with the Strasbourg "pate".
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- Loquacity, n. A disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to talk.
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- Doubt is the father of invention.
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- ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit.
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- PRESIDE, v. To guide the action of a deliberative body to a desirable result. In Journalese, to perform upon a musical instrument; as, "He presided at the piccolo."
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- Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
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- Here's to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands.
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- ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice.
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- Christians and camels receive their burdens kneeling.
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- Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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- MUSTANG, n. An indocile horse of the western plains. In English society, the American wife of an English nobleman.
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- PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.
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- An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching.
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- PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives.
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- PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.
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- To those who view the voyage of life from the port of departure the bark that has accomplished any considerable distance appears already in close approach to the farther shore.
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- A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.
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- A short story padded. A species of composition bearing the same relation to literature that the panorama bears to art. As it is too long to be read at a sitting the impressions made by its successive parts are successively effaced, as in the pa
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