Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Would Be Quotes, Telephones Quotes

There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

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OATH, n. In law, a solemn appeal to the Deity, made binding upon the conscience by a penalty for perjury.

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A penny saved is a penny to squander.

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CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. When Zeno was told that one of his enemies was no more he was observed to be deeply moved. "What!" said one of his disciples, "you weep at the death of an enemy?" "Ah, 'tis true," replied the great Stoic; "but you should see me smile at the death of a friend.".

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PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood.

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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.

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A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beetle, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus, and microbe.

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A less popular name for the Second Person of that delectable newspaper Trinity, the Roomer, the Bedder, and the Mealer.

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Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

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ARTLESSNESS, n. A certain engaging quality to which women attain by long study and severe practice upon the admiring male, who is pleased to fancy it resembles the candid simplicity of his young.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Practice Quotes , Long Quotes

Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This illustrious savant, after having made several voyages around the world, died on the Sandwich Islands and was devoured by savages, of whom not a single fragment was ever recovered.

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REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it.

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SACRED, adj. Dedicated to some religious purpose; having a divine character; inspiring solemn thoughts or emotions; as... the Cow in India; the Crocodile, the Cat and the Onion of ancient Egypt.

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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

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Peace in international affairs: a period of cheating between periods of fighting

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Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

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RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.

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Irreligion - the principal one of the great faiths of the world.

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Habit: A shackle for the free.

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Nihilism Quotes , Habit Quotes