Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Time Quotes, Power Quotes

EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.

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Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized.

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APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider

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When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had.

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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

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ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn.

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Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego.

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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.

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Acquaintance: "A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

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What a woman most admires in a man is distinction among men. What a man most admires in a woman is devotion to himself.

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Noise: a stench in the ear.

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SERIAL, n. A literary work, usually a story that is not true, creeping through several issues of a newspaper or magazine.

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PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

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PUSH, n. One of the two things mainly conducive to success, especially in politics. The other is Pull.

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WOMAN, n. An animal usually living in the vicinity of Man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.

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ACCOMPLICE, n. One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.

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LAP, n. One of the most important organs of the female system - an admirable provision of nature for the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males.

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Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.

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INDISCRETION, n. The guilt of woman.

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EXHORT, v.t. In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.

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