Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes, Humorous Quotes, Sarcasm Quotes

The unexpected has happened so continually in my life that it has ceased to deserve the name.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

He was drunk upon the average once a day, and penitent upon an equally fair calculation once a month; and when he was penitent, he was invariably in the very last stage of maudlin intoxication. He was a ragged, roving, roaring kind of fellow, with a burly form, a sharp wit, and a ready head, and could turn his hand to anything when he chose to do it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

When my cats aren't happy, I'm not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they're just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.

5 years ago

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Tags : Percy Bysshe Shelley Quotes , Happy Quotes , Humorous Quotes

She dotes on poetry, sir. She adores it; I may say that her whole soul and mind are wound up, and entwined with it. She has produced some delightful pieces, herself, sir. You may have met with her 'Ode to an Expiring Frog,' sir.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I feel that there is reason lurking in you somewhere, so we will patiently grope round for it.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

The funniest things are the forbidden.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

There are four kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Profound Quotes

He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three; I attended their funerals.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read-

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

It is our American habit if we find the foundations of our educational structure unsatisfactory to add another story or wing.

5 years ago

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Tags : Albert Einstein Quotes , Education Quotes , Humorous Quotes

In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Running Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.

5 years ago

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Tags : Napoleon Bonaparte Quotes , War Quotes , Humorous Quotes

She say, Celie, tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show.

5 years ago

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Tags : Alice Walker Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

... As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.

5 years ago

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Tags : Charles Dickens Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are Democrats.

5 years ago

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Tags : Ambrose Bierce Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

There is, in fact, no law or government at all; and it is wonderful how well things go on without them.

5 years ago

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Tags : Lord Byron Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.

5 years ago

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Tags : Voltaire Quotes , Marriage Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The sky was of the deepest blue, with a few white, fleecy clouds drifting lazily across it, and the air was filled with the low drone of insects or with a sudden sharper note as bee or bluefly shot past with its quivering, long-drawn hum, like an insect tuning-fork.

5 years ago

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Tags : Arthur Conan Doyle Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

Because of its vitality, the computing field is always in desperate need of new cliches: Banality soothes our nerves.

6 years ago

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Tags : Alan Perlis Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Technology Quotes