Adam Ferrara Quotes, Funny Quotes, Sex Quotes

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.'

5 years ago

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There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

5 years ago

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My dad was a big car guy. If you wanted to spend time with my dad, he was working on the car.

5 years ago

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I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.

5 years ago

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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.

5 years ago

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I think human arrogance will be the demise of civilization.

5 years ago

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Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

5 years ago

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I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

5 years ago

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I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

5 years ago

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My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice.

5 years ago

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The girls are beautiful in Hollywood - and enough silicon to caulk a sink.

5 years ago

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I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

5 years ago

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I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.

5 years ago

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I look to nature because I think the animals are smarter than we are. Animals mate; humans date. There's no dating in the animal kingdom. No dinner, no movie - just a quick sniff, 'Alright, let's go.'

5 years ago

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What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

5 years ago

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One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

5 years ago

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I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.

5 years ago

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The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

5 years ago

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I talk a lot about women in my act, 'cause let's face it -- if I was hungry, I would talk about food.

5 years ago

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I woke up my pop in the middle of the night 'cause the boogie man's under my bed. My pop is this big, huge man, nothing can hurt him. I went running into his bedroom like, 'Daddy, Daddy, the boogie man's under the bed!' Pop opens one eye, he's like, 'Is the boogie man bigger than me?' 'Well, no Daddy, he's not.' 'Well, you got your choice: you can deal with the boogie man or you can deal with me.'

5 years ago

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Tags : Adam Ferrara Quotes , Funny Quotes , Running Quotes