Adam Carolla Quotes, Drama Quotes

I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Drama Quotes

Then there's the in-between, not a lipstick lesbian, not a butch dyke. I think that is what I'd be, a sweatpants lesbian.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I'm really just trying to hash out the next two weeks of my life. So, something that is potentially four months down the road is not just a mile down the road for me, it's a million miles down the road.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They're the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math. If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife's side of the bed at night. If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Moving Quotes , Book Quotes

People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Smart Quotes , College Quotes

My motto is "more mystery, less history".

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Mystery Quotes , Motto Quotes

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Names Quotes , Feelings Quotes

Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Sorry Quotes , Night Quotes

I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

Figure out what to do, then take a nap.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

I got drunk in Canada. I was there for 2 days but I was drunk there for 4 days. I don't know how it worked. I guess it was with the time difference or something.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humor Quotes

My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Car Quotes , Life Is Quotes

If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Hollywood Quotes

It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

I know everything because I know nothing.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes

That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone... forever?

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Funny Quotes , Philosophical Quotes

Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , People Quotes , Pay Quotes

The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.

6 years ago

Message Copied

Tags : Adam Carolla Quotes , Host Quotes , Compelling Quotes