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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
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- The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.
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- You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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- The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it.
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- Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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- Some things you can't find out; but you will never know you can't by guessing and supposing: no, you have to be patient and go on experimenting until you find out that you can't find out.
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- Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.
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- France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.
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- Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery.
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- Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
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- He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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- They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't got any right to his property.
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- Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan?
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- I do not know what we should do without the pulpit. We could better spare the sun-the moon, anyway.
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- It is discouraging to try to penetrate a mind like yours. You ought to get it out and dance on it. That would take some of the rigidity out of it.
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- To us, our house was not unsentient matter -- it had a heart, and a soul, and eyes to see us with; and approvals and solicitudes and deep sympathies; it was of us, and we were in its confidence, and lived in its grace and in the peace of its benediction.
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- But we are all insane, anyway ... The suicides seem to be the only sane people.
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- I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
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- Education is what remains when what is learned has been taken away.
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- Wine is a clog to the pen, not an inspiration.
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