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Mark Twain Quotes
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Mark Twain Quotes 2407
- I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.
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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humor Quotes , Years Quotes
- The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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- My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
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- The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.
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- You must not pay a person a compliment, and then straightway follow it with a criticism.
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- An honest politician is an oxymoron.
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- The true charm of pedestrians does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking.
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- When angry, count to a hundred.
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- If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family.
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- God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.
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- The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
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- Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
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- Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
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- India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
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- To be vested with enormous authority is a fine thing; but to have the on-looking world consent to it is finer.
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- The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.
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- It is no use to keep private information which you can't show off.
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- Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
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- I am the entire human race compacted together. I have found that there is no ingredient of the race which I do not possess in either a small way or a large way.
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- Whatever a man's age, he can reduce it several years by putting a bright-colored flower in his button-hole.
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