Mark Twain Quotes, Ignorance Quotes, Knowing Quotes

Ignorance is not, not knowing something. It is knowing what isn't so.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Ignorance Quotes , Knowing Quotes

I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Happiness Quotes , Men Quotes

We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Liberty Quotes , Ark Quotes

He had only one vanity; he thought he could give advice better than any other person.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Vanity Quotes , Giving Quotes

We must put up with clothes as they are they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us to advertise what we wear them to conceal.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clothes Quotes

After a few months' acquaintance with European 'coffee' one's mind weakens, and his faith with it, and he begins to wonder if the rich beverage of home, with it's clotted layer of yellow cream on top of it, is not a mere dream after all, and a thing which never existed.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Coffee Quotes

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes , Sarcasm Quotes

We are always too busy for our children; we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them; but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Relationship Quotes , Children Quotes

There are no grades of vanity; there are only grades of ability in concealing it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Vanity Quotes

Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Tired Quotes , Might Quotes

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hilarious Quotes , Tree Quotes

You may say organize, organize, organize; but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hard Work Quotes , Organization Quotes

There are those who imagine that the unlucky accidents of lifelife's "experiences"are in some way useful to us. I wish I could find out how. I never know one of them to happen twice. They always change off and swap around and catch you on your inexperienced side.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Experience Quotes , Wish Quotes

...many foolish persons, wanderers from other parts, have the vain fashion of graving their names and the obscure places whence they come, upon its stones, which is silly and marketh the doer for a fool.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fashion Quotes , Silly Quotes

Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sports Quotes , Dog Quotes

I think we never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead--and not then until we have been dead years and years. People ought to start dead, and they would be honest so much earlier.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Honesty Quotes

The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we ought to try and respect it. A thing which is not thoroughly easy to do, when we reflect that by command of the law a criminal juror must be an intellectual vacuum, attached to a melting heart and perfectly macaronian bowels of compassion.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Humorous Quotes

I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Birthday Quotes , Men Quotes

A sin takes on a new and real terror when there seems a chance that it is going to be found out.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Chance Quotes

Well - Patriotism has its laws. And it also is a perfectly definite one, there are not vaguenesses about it. It commands that the brother over the border shall be sharply watched and brought to book every time he does us a hurt or offends us with an insult.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hurt Quotes , Brother Quotes