Mark Twain Quotes, Two Quotes, Smoking Quotes

I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Two Quotes , Smoking Quotes

It now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one...the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Animal Quotes , Men Quotes

The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wine Quotes , Labels Quotes

If there was two birds sitting on a fence, he would bet you which one would fly first.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Two Quotes , Bird Quotes

Homely truth is unpalatable.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Truth Is Quotes

Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Fighting Quotes

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Inspirational Quotes , Men Quotes

...fry me an optimist for breakfast.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Optimistic Quotes , Breakfast Quotes

Choosing not to read is like closing an open door to paradise

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doors Quotes , Paradise Quotes

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Food Quotes , New Orleans Quotes

I have only one moral precept; never smoke more than five cigars at a time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Moral Quotes , Cigar Quotes

Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Girl Quotes , Time Quotes

Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Expression Quotes

Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , God Quotes , Educational Quotes

Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Truth Quotes , Alive Quotes

I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Discovery Quotes , Talking Quotes

If Christians should vote their duty to God at the polls, they would carry every election, and do it with ease. They would elect every clean candidate in the United States, and defeat every soiled one. Their prodigious power would be quickly realized and recognized, and afterward there would be no unclean candidates upon any ticket, and graft would cease.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Christian Quotes , Voting Quotes

Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit; well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hands Quotes , Comforting Quotes

We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking. And out of it we get an aggregation which we consider a boon. Its name is public opinion. It is held in reverence. Some think it the voice of God.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Mistake Quotes , Thinking Quotes

When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Doe Quotes , Complaining Quotes