Mark Twain Quotes, Life Quotes, Sassy Quotes

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Sassy Quotes

A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Grateful Quotes , Long Quotes

Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan?

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Race Quotes , Doe Quotes

There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Looks Quotes , Enough Quotes

The past does not repeat itself, but it rhymes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Past Quotes , History Quotes

Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Watches Quotes

What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Sarcastic Quotes

By "trampling upon the helpless abroad" with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, "by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home."

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Home Quotes , Tyrants Quotes

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Life Quotes

It has been reported that I was seriously ill--it was another man; dying--it was another man; dead--the other man again...As far as I can see, nothing remains to be reported, except that I have become a foreigner. When you hear it, don't you believe it. And don't take the trouble to deny it. Merely just raise the American flag on our house in Hartford and let it talk.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Believe Quotes

I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Humorous Quotes

The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Southern Quotes

Civilizations proceed from the heart rather than from the head.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Heart Quotes

I do not know what we should do without the pulpit. We could better spare the sun-the moon, anyway.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Moon Quotes , Religion Quotes

Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Civilization Quotes

I'm pushing 60 years of age...and that's enough exercise for me.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Exercise Quotes

Manifestly, dying is nothing to a really great and brave man.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Men Quotes

No temperance society which is well officered and which has the real good of our fellow-men in view, will ever get drunk save in the seclusion of its temperance hall.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Drinking Quotes

We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nice Quotes , Thinking Quotes