Mark Twain Quotes, Coffee Quotes, Average Quotes

The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Coffee Quotes , Average Quotes

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Life Quotes

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspiration Quotes , Doe Quotes

I believe I have had the most trouble with a portrait which I painted in installments - the head on one canvas and the bust on another.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Portraits Quotes

...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Humor Quotes

Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Music Quotes , Witty Quotes

An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Thinking Quotes , Eclipse Of The Sun Quotes

Humor is tragedy plus time.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Tragedy Quotes

It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Thinking Quotes

I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Science Quotes , Men Quotes

A wanton waste of projectiles.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Waste Quotes

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Witty Quotes

Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Crazy Quotes

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Disappointment Quotes , Father Quotes

Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Beautiful Quotes , Memories Quotes

There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land (and work) again after a cheerful, careless voyage.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Travel Quotes , Land Quotes

The church is always trying to get other people to reform, it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Ideas Quotes

More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes , Biblical Quotes

You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rafting Quotes , Easy Quotes

I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Glasses Quotes , Hypocrisy Quotes