Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , People Quotes , Laughing Quotes

Today's burdens can strengthen you for tomorrow.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Today Quotes , Tomorrow Quotes

One of life's most over-valued pleasures is sexual intercourse; of one of life's least appreciated pleasures in defecation.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Appreciated Quotes

Everything human is pathetic

6 years ago

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Never learn to do anything: if you don't learn, you'll always find someone else to do it for you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Work Quotes

A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Cowboy Quotes

If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Nature Quotes , Men Quotes

There isn't anything so grotesque or so incredible that the average human being can't believe it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Average Quotes

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Motivational Quotes

You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Communication Quotes , Love Is Quotes

It's awful undermining to the intellect, German is; you want to take it in small doses, or first you know your brains all run together, and you feel them flapping around in your head same as so much drawn butter.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Running Quotes , German Language Quotes

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Educational Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Church Choir Quotes , Atheism Quotes

I do not know what we should do without the pulpit. We could better spare the sun-the moon, anyway.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Moon Quotes , Religion Quotes

...mastery of the art and spirit of the Germanic language enables a man to travel all day in one sentence without changing cars.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Art Quotes , Men Quotes

The more I know people, the more I love my dog.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dog Quotes , People Quotes

Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would be surprised to find how far off they are, for they do not look it. When they first showed last night I tried to knock some down with a pole, but it didn't reach, which astonished me. Then I tried clods till I was all tired out, but I never got one. I did make some close shots, for I saw the black blot of the clod sail right into thee midst of the golden clusters forty or fifty times, just barely missing them, and if I could've held out a little longer, maybe I could've got one.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Perseverance Quotes , Stars Quotes

Be good and you will be lonely.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lonely Quotes , Loneliness Quotes

Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Book Quotes