Mark Twain Quotes, Glasses Quotes, Hypocrisy Quotes

I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Glasses Quotes , Hypocrisy Quotes

When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends.

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Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.

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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

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Newport, Rhode Island, that breeding place-that stud farm, so to speak-of aristocracy; aristocracy of the American type.

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A man may have no bad habits and have worse

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , May Quotes

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Death Quotes

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Education Quotes , Running Quotes

Good wine needs no bush; a jug is the thing.

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It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.

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There is more real pleasure to be gotten out of a malicious act, where your heart is in it, than out of thirty acts of a nobler sort.

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A great, great deal has been said about the weather, but very little has ever been done.

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A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.

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No church property is taxed and so the infidel and the atheist and the man without religion are taxed to make up the deficit.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Atheist Quotes , Men Quotes

A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.

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Tough times teach trust.

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In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Writing Quotes

What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must. Who is God, the one and only true? Money is God. Gold and Greenbacks and Stock-father, son, and ghosts of same, three persons in one; These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Father Quotes , Son Quotes

But they (the infantry) had no use for boys of twelve and thirteen, and before I had a chance in another war, the desire to kill people to whom I had not been introduced had passed away.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , War Quotes , Boys Quotes