Mark Twain Quotes, Funny Quotes, Hilarious Quotes

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Hilarious Quotes

There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Humorous Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lonely Quotes , New York Quotes

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Birthday Quotes

Only when a republic's life is in danger should a man uphold his government when it is wrong. There is no other time.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Republic Quotes

When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Majority Quotes

A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Horse Quotes , Spirited Quotes

Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Death Quotes

These are the true and only God, mighty and supreme.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Consumerism Quotes , Overconsumption Quotes

Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Intelligent Quotes

Love your enemy, it will scare the hell out of them.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love You Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Clothes Quotes , Arbitrary Quotes

It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Rain Quotes , Weather Quotes

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Witness Quotes

I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is "hogwash"

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Land Quotes , Names Quotes

Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments - notably those of the violin - but it seems to set a piano's teeth on edge.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Piano Quotes , Musical Quotes

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Overnight success is a fallacy. It is preceded by a great deal of preparation. Ask any successful person how they came to this point in their lives, and they will have a story to tell.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Life Quotes , Successful Quotes

We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove. We have two opinions: one private, which we are afraid to express; and another one - the one we use - which we force ourselves to wear to please Mrs. Grundy, until habit makes us comfortable in it, and the custom of defending it presently makes us love it, adore it, and forget how pitifully we came by it. Look at it in politics.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Love Quotes , Sheep Quotes

The only certainties in life are death and taxes.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Certainty Of Death Quotes , Certainty In Life Quotes

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Friendship Quotes , Hurt Quotes