Mark Twain Quotes, Inspirational Quotes, Funny Quotes

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Funny Quotes

You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?

5 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , Motivational Quotes

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.

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Patriotism is usually the refuge of the scoundrel. He is the man who talks the loudest.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Patriotism Quotes

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Good Luck Quotes , Wish Quotes

Humor is the good natured side of a truth.

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We often feel sad in the presence of music without words; and often more than that in the presence of music without music.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Sad Quotes , Music Quotes

Taking the pledge will not make bad liquor good, but it will improve it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Drinking Quotes , Abstinence Quotes

The [Kodak is] the only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Long Quotes , Witness Quotes

It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have been better for us-oh infinitely better for us-if the serpent had been forbidden

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Religious Quotes , Apples Quotes

Humor is like a frog; if you dissect it, it dies.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Frogs Quotes , Dies Quotes

Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.

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Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to resort to violence.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Work Quotes , Two Quotes

I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Opportunity Quotes

When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating, but you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little over the victuals, though there warn't really anything the matter with them. That is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a barrel of odds and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind of swaps around, and the things go better.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Prayer Quotes , Odds Quotes

He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Men Quotes , Envy Quotes

One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one. From the code of morals I have been following and revising and revising for 72 years I remember one detail. All my life I have been honest - comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly - I could only lend it.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Character Quotes , Years Quotes

Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.

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The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.

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Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Law Quotes , Idiot Quotes