Mark Twain Quotes, Glasses Quotes, Hypocrisy Quotes

I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Glasses Quotes , Hypocrisy Quotes

The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Reality Quotes , Differences Quotes

A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray; and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lying Quotes , Promise Quotes

There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Life Quotes , Money Quotes

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

Be good and you will be lonely.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Lonely Quotes , Loneliness Quotes

Don't use a five-dollar word when a fifty-cent word will do.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dollars Quotes , Use Quotes

After a few months' acquaintance with European 'coffee' one's mind weakens, and his faith with it, and he begins to wonder if the rich beverage of home, with it's clotted layer of yellow cream on top of it, is not a mere dream after all, and a thing which never existed.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Dream Quotes , Coffee Quotes

Let us save the tomorrows for work.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes

I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Hilarious Quotes , Inspiration Quotes

No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Real Quotes , Men Quotes

Go to bed early, get up early-this is wise.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Wise Quotes , Up Early Quotes

Perhaps it will be simplest to throw away the tags and generalize India with one all-comprehensive name, as the Land of Wonders.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Land Quotes , Names Quotes

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Fire Quotes

I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Motivational Quotes , Truth Quotes

Time and tide wait for no man. A pompous and self-satisfied proverb, and was true for a billion years; but in our day of electric wires and water-ballast we turn it around: Man waits not for time nor tide.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Funny Quotes , Time Quotes

It is higher and nobler to be kind.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Kindness Quotes , Be Kind Quotes

The Impartial Friend: Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all--the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Death Quotes , Rich Quotes

The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Inspirational Quotes , People Quotes

It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.

6 years ago

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Tags : Mark Twain Quotes , Believe Quotes , Reading Quotes